Tag Archives: Poems

No. 15

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Rip me apart

and tear me out

help me figure

what it’s all about

Cry my tears

then tell me why

you make this life

so hard to get by

cut out my heart

to hold in your hand

maybe then

you will understand

what it’s like to

be in my position

constantly in fear

of your opposition

touch my torn back

look at my eyes

explain to me this

terrible brain exersize

Put me through pain

then puncture me more

then ask me to explain

why you I don’t adore

tie me in chains

wring me ’til wrinkled

for you I don’t ask

more than one task

Love I do choose

You I don’t want to lose

no escape

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Tears from the innocents

fall on me as the victims

of satan’s motherhood

struggle no more, in chains of no relent

Accepting no escape,

stung by the glee of hateful followers

at the perversion of innocence.

She became a subservient slave

of their painful power.

Repeated escapes only brought torturous rapes,

For even the neighbor took her back

to the devil’s den of cruelty.

Fight by flight failed in the end

she lost hope for help

lost hope for heaven

but does not want hell

She can not stand it, but can not defend

Or protect the innocents love

On which she depends.

Number 52

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Sarah’s sailing out to sea

in a weather beaten boat

destination’s not important

just as long as she ignores it

She puts on her dress

the one her mom bought today

for her birthday she sails away

watching the wind press on the waves

Mother adores her

passion to make dreams come true

she left them all behind her back

never looking that way again

future in ocean

has taken her all over

doesn’t need to know her losses

happiness has left the building

Sarah sells her golden ring

says it makes her finger sting

Bill says, “She doesn’t follow my rules”

maybe it is better this way

Sarah’s sailing out to sea

in a weather beaten boat

destinations not important

just as long as she has her coat

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—-Another poem of mine from 16 years ago or so—-

#12

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The secrets of the unexplained

penetrate into my brain

Causing me to explore

That which I do implore

As I lie in my bed tonight

Asking for help true despite

That of the past which is not right

Faith finds a way for me to feel

Hope in my future, and in love

This keeps me afloat

Just as God above.

1999

Poetry #9

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Pour down rain on me

Steam my feet

Make me bleed

Wash away my inhibition

Pierce my skin

Peal me apart

Cry my tears

Kiss my wounds

Seal my body

Wear my clothes

Undress my self

Breath my breath

Paint my skin

Clothe my body

Touch me lovingly

Pour down rain on me

***Thoughts on this one?

This is either my DID alter relating to myself or the process of abuse – the wounds, the healing, the trust and lack of***

No Title Poetry #1

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It has been a very long time since I’ve really written any poetry.  The previous poem “A voice in the fog” is the first one I have written in probably 14 years.  Every so often I will publish some of my older poems.  The stuff that was written ‘way back when’ I can see now contains clues to DID – or at least to memories I was hiding.

There are stars on the face

Of a person in a place

Where the darkness replaces

The light by the shades.

It is extraordinary how

They glow and shine

in a spot so

Dark and divine.

***I am certain now this poem relates directly to the candle light on faces during rituals in the middle of the night.

A voice in fog

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Whether this weathered world resides

inside of me or only lies

Through the dim fog I feel

around for any thing that’s real

but when I do touch reality

The fog encloses around me

I am so close to the clearing

Still this fog keeps me fearing

and doubting my sanity

Then the voice makes it through

Just as unsure of what to do

A voice in the fog I’ve never heard before

As clear as muffled talking through a door

Like one that is heard in the wilderness

But yet not seen I am convinced

The voice of a person bound

Out of sight, the lost unfound

Do I go towards the clearing?

Or turn back in the fog to find the voice I’m hearing?

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Jesus23