Still Quiet

About nine years ago already was my first flashback.  It only consisted of two hands and arms of a boy wrestling with me to hold me down.  This flashback was triggered by my husband being affectionate with me.   I could not see anything other than two hands and forearms.  My eyes were open, but … Continue reading Still Quiet

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no escape

Tears from the innocents fall on me as the victims of satan's motherhood struggle no more, in chains of no relent Accepting no escape, stung by the glee of hateful followers at the perversion of innocence. She became a subservient slave of their painful power. Repeated escapes only brought torturous rapes, For even the neighbor took her back to … Continue reading no escape

Relaxation and Imagery

I am back with a vengeance after spending the last two seasons pursuing programming, personalities, and memories.    Van Helsing and I use imagery modeled by hypnosis to face my interior world.  I am going to explain how we work this based on our experience together. There are three phases to relaxation.  I start out … Continue reading Relaxation and Imagery

If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?

Here is more of the story.  I don't feel safe talking about this to anybody I know, other than my husband, and that is why I am anonymously online disclosing whatever it is that I can figure out.  There is a need to "report" - a mechanism that I destroyed within me although the need … Continue reading If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?

Methodical Destruction

Hypnosis at home, do I really get hypnotized?  I am not sure if I can be truly hypnotized because of how my programming was set up. I was set up to go into a trance when ever the trigger was used.  I know in general of one trigger, although I am unable to remember the … Continue reading Methodical Destruction

The broken heart in pieces

In a sense, the division of my personality into separate parts is more like the broken pieces of my heart. Left to heal on their own, there has been no shortage of scar tissue. This scar tissue, so to speak, became more like walls that separated each part. Each broken piece of my heart became … Continue reading The broken heart in pieces

Seeking my interior castle through hypnosis

So, finally, like Alice before falling into wonderland, I saw the rabbit hole and dove in.  Falling down a rabbit hole is not always quick.  You move as fast or as slow as your mind allows.  My husband researched hypnosis and we gave it a shot.  I have a Ton of trust in my husband! … Continue reading Seeking my interior castle through hypnosis

Hello, my name is Josie?

Hello, my name is Josie.  🙂  (One of the alters)  Here I thought I had so much to say!  Anyway, I had a dream last night.  I was looking at a photo album with baby pictures of myself.  There was a picture of a very cute baby girl.  Now that we have access to more … Continue reading Hello, my name is Josie?

3 Memories, Ch. 2

Along with the memories which made some sense to me that I could actually place within some kind of sense of my own reality were other memories that made no sense and would not fit easily within the chronology of my life.  These memories fell into two categories:  Science or Mind Control, Rituals and Ritual … Continue reading 3 Memories, Ch. 2

I’m Still Swimming…

At this point in the beginning of my awakening, I had no real validation except for my mom telling me it was possible somebody had abused me and the single yet extremely short flashback containing nearly no information.  My mom has a twin sister - I will just refer to her as my aunt, and … Continue reading I’m Still Swimming…