About nine years ago already was my first flashback. It only consisted of two hands and arms of a boy wrestling with me to hold me down. This flashback was triggered by my husband being affectionate with me. I could not see anything other than two hands and forearms. My eyes were open, but … Continue reading Still Quiet
Here I am, attempting to write what I can... Memories, pictures, people, It is all a story in my head like pages ripped out of a book, and hidden somewhere... somewhere... The adults in my life consistently expressed disbelief in the possibility that I could have remembered something from when I was two, or … Continue reading More of Me
I am back with a vengeance after spending the last two seasons pursuing programming, personalities, and memories. Van Helsing and I use imagery modeled by hypnosis to face my interior world. I am going to explain how we work this based on our experience together. There are three phases to relaxation. I start out … Continue reading Relaxation and Imagery
Any idea of who I thought I was completely shattered upon the acceptance of a single memory. For years, my husband and I wondered if I was sexually abused as a child. We talked about what I always remembered and discussed certain bedroom behaviors of mine. As far as I knew I lived a completely uneventful and … Continue reading A few things I have learned
Please use caution when reading my post if you are dealing with ptsd or did since reading any posts about my memories may be triggering. Today I mention angels, demon, switching personalities, catholicism *** One beautiful evening, when I was probably 19 years old, I found myself in the church parking lot with no memory … Continue reading A Memory for Monday
Over the past week I took one daughter at a time to the store to pick up a doll. Daughter G, who is 7 years old now, picked out the Princess Power Barbie doll with the blue hair. Blue is her favorite color. G is a sweetie, she reminds me of myself as a kid. … Continue reading Princess Power!
Here is more of the story. I don't feel safe talking about this to anybody I know, other than my husband, and that is why I am anonymously online disclosing whatever it is that I can figure out. There is a need to "report" - a mechanism that I destroyed within me although the need … Continue reading If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?
Hypnosis at home, do I really get hypnotized? I am not sure if I can be truly hypnotized because of how my programming was set up. I was set up to go into a trance when ever the trigger was used. I know in general of one trigger, although I am unable to remember the … Continue reading Methodical Destruction