Tag Archives: demons

A Memory for Monday: a vision and a message

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Today I will go into a surreal type of memory.   Josie, one of my alter personalities, went through some sort of psychic training or development. She is the one who saw angels, ghosts, and even demons.   Psychic development is a part of monarch programming. I believe whatever part of the brain where Josie mainly resides gives her a greater ability to connect with or see spirits. Something she worked on was manipulating fire.

One day, while at the old white house where most of the rituals and torture occurred Josie (probably about 19 or so) was laying in the grass staring up at the stars. Josie’s hair was pulled back and she was wearing a tee shirt and jeans just relaxing alone outside when suddenly the stars began to move. They started moving in all directions, like fireworks bursting open. Then, He spoke – God – was talking. The message was:

“I created you to be good”

and

“I could destroy the world this instant”

God showed us that at the moment He decides the world needs to be destroyed, He can simply will the stars to lose their constancy and send them plummeting towards the earth.   Josie saw, this happen as He spoke.   The stars bursting out of their designated places within the universe suddenly moving towards me/her. I was not concerned about survival; rather, was relieved at knowing that God will one day destroy that house.   Understanding this was a vision and not reality, I laid there as I was shown the stars moving full force towards the earths crust, sending the crust into rippling waves outwards from the point of impact and destroying all in its path.

As the vision ended, God’s words remained, “I created you to be good,” and, “I could destroy the world this instant.” It hit through Josie’s heart, struck down all walls that could prevent it from penetrating through multiple dissociative labyrinths. She stood up, and started running towards the white house because the message she received was so strong and so hugely impacting that Josie wanted to share it right away with anyone who would listen. But, that was the problem, knowing nobody in the house would listen to a message like “God created you to be good!” So, she kept this message to herself, until now.

I still believe it is possible for any human being to turn their lives around, hear the word of God and change – no matter how evil they choose to be. I also believe that God’s mercy and love is infinite – greater than we can ever truly comprehend and that He still has the infinite ability to forgive an evil person and help them change regardless of the sin they have contributed to the world. However, it is not something that will happen without prayer and effort from the rest of us.

At the time this happened, Josie was doing everything in her power to gain power over me so that she could have more freedom.   To accomplish this, she chose to make agreements with demons. She made many of these agreements in order to weaken my will and provide greater temptation to grow in vice and fear virtue. Josie (and the rest of my others) were on a path of certain destruction and they didn’t even know it.

God came to Josie during a time when she was making some very bad decisions that would impact my soul as a whole. Josie and the rest of my Others were so separated from the core they never heard of God’s goodness. They never knew to pray, but I did, and I prayed. Often times while I thought I was home but was actually out at that house or out with “friends” in my mind I was saying my evening prayers. So while one half of me was seeking the devil, the other half was seeking God. I believe this was very helpful.

This vision was not the only time God came to intervene. Although, it would have been nice if God stopped the entire thing from the very beginning – I know human free will is the only factor that got in the way of God getting involved.

There was a recurring dream/nightmare that I had as a child of about 4 years old. I used to have night terrors that would drive me to climb into bed with my mom. My dad worked nights, so her bed was open. But the nightmares continued, I was woken from these nightmares and drawn to the bedroom window where I saw the entire world in my sight to be destroyed. There were no houses left, no roads, no trees – it was complete desolation with some fires here and there burning up the remaining bits of our world.   Eventually I gained the courage to turn away from the window and find out who was showing me this. I saw half of my parents’ bedroom filled with a darkness blacker than night and thicker than any shadow. I was confused, kind of scared, but more confused that some demon was showing me this and not an angel. The nightmare ended and I was able to go back to sleep.

So, these experiences do lead me to believe the end is near – although time is relative. If you compare 100 years to 100,000 then a hundred years is like a drop in the bucket. Regardless of that perspective, these experiences remind me how important it is to try to be good because life on this earth does not last forever!

Here is a prayer that I found recently:

I consecrate to God all that is in me: my memory and actions to God the Father; my understanding and my words to God the Son; my will and my thoughts to God the Holy Ghost; my heart, my body, my tongue, my senses and all my sorrows to the sacred Humanity o f Jesus Christ, “who was contented to be betrayed into the hands of wicked men and to suffer the torment of the cross.”

–St. Francis de Sales

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A Memory for Monday

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Please use caution when reading my post if you are dealing with ptsd or did since reading any posts about my memories may be triggering. Today I mention angels, demon, switching personalities, catholicism

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Seeking my interior castle through hypnosis

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So, finally, like Alice before falling into wonderland, I saw the rabbit hole and dove in.  Falling down a rabbit hole is not always quick.  You move as fast or as slow as your mind allows.  My husband researched hypnosis and we gave it a shot.  I have a Ton of trust in my husband!  Anyway, it really didn’t work at first.  It took a while to make that leap of faith and allow my mind to fall into my husbands hands.  I was down-right resistant to hypnosis.  We tried to make it work for weeks, but gave up.  Then somehow I gathered up the courage to let it all go and give it another shot.

At first my interior home was a disheveled shack.  I went inside and looked for memories.  The first memories to surface were most likely necessary in order for subsequent memories to build upon.  My husband was very careful not to say anything that could give a hypnotic suggestion or color the manner the memories came up.  Each memory provided a certain piece to my inner memory matrix.  Each piece I grab helps bring another piece into reach.

For a long time (and still at times) I had intrusive images that were very disturbing flash into my head.  While I became pretty good at suppressing them, it really wore me out if any image was particularly stubborn.  Other times there was a memory carousel of sorts – flashes of various images showing up.  My husband helped me to feel comfortable addressing these things instead of merely shoving them off.  He helped me to stop the memory carousel from turning, go back to any image I wanted, grab it, take it down and really look at it.

The heart within knows the truth.

Some images were metaphorical in nature, and not to be taken literally while others were exact memories that I could take down and place back within the memory matrix.  For single intrusive images I learned to practice courage while being afraid of what my mind was trying to tell me.  It’s not easy.

This was invaluable in being able to move forward in healing from the hidden past.

As time wore on and I became more comfortable using hypnosis we discovered there was actually a castle – an interior castle.  This castle was fortified with a weak little fence, and a whole bunch of landmines!  The mines were representative of the various triggers that were set in place through psychological/mental programming.  These mines all were set to go off if I had ever discovered a memory or even thought of the possibility that I lived a double life.  There were hundreds of mines set up to go off when triggered.  When triggered, the mine would blow, leaving me in the real world spinning into an out of control mess.  Other times, just being chaotic and hopeless wasn’t enough – I was suicidal.

My mind had been set up to resort to anything in order to keep my core from knowing the truth.

So, during hypnosis I had to find all the mines and dis-arm each and every one.  This took weeks to finish because there were so many!  Usually each mine was set to trigger another mine as well, so I had to really explore the castle grounds for hidden wires. Each mine was also wired to the castle.  I had to disconnect the mines to the castle as well.  Sometimes, a landmine was stubborn and popped back up.  When this happened I had to carefully disarm the mine in my brain and look deeper.  Usually there was something keeping it from going away for good.  Eventually I gave myself a hose with holy water to stop the mines from doing any evil – hey, when you are working in your head all you need is to believe!

My husband and I worked through hypnosis about 5 nights a week methodically.  He is an analyst and has a passion for learning.  He has no problem reading volumes of books or on the internet.  Anyway, because of the love and trust that is already there for my husband that meant I did not have to take months getting comfortable with some therapist I do not know.  We could also work through therapy at our own pace.  Plus, I can call him any time.  Once I became comfortable letting him into my head hypnotically we were able to progress  pretty quickly.  There were times we had to take a month off or so because I needed time to process what was going on inside of my selves, but then we would pick back up again.

Once the landmines were all dealt with and disposed of it was time to enter the castle.  Upon entering, I discovered demons in every room – which meant spiritual and psychological battle.  You see, I believe that we do battle in this world on two levels.  We do battle temporally, with what and who we see, how we think, what we say and do.  We also do battle morally or spiritually.  That is when we face temptation to do something flat out wrong, or even just less good for us personally.  I also believe that when a person lives with or is battling (use whatever phrase suits you best) a mental illness, I believe the devil uses that to his best advantage in order to prevent us from leaning on God, or to distract us, but always there is a much bigger picture that the devil is focused on painting or achieving – including doing his best to keep us from going to heaven.

So out came the sacramentals in my mind.  I equipped myself with a back-pack that had a hose for holy water and a bag of St Benedict medals.  I used various prayers or exorcisms to rid my mind of as much attachment or personal calling there could be to the demons.  This all probably sounds strange – even to catholics, but after cleaning out the castle I did feel more peace.

My God, make us to be of one mind in the Truth and of one heart in charity

-St. Pius X