Jesus’ Agony

Every so often I come to a point where I start to question everything.  I question these memories, or my Others and how separated are they or if they are real.  I test whether or not the life I remember is the life i lived.  I get to a point where I am like, Oh … Continue reading Jesus’ Agony

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Accepting the Worst

When I began writing about coming to terms with having multiple personalities/dissociative identity disorder about a year ago or so the idea of accepting that there has been a BIG chunk of my life that I did not know anything about has been a struggle.  The idea that so much could have been done in … Continue reading Accepting the Worst

Bits and pieces on my mind about God

After my last memory post, my husband (who does all the research on my situation) discovered one of the techniques used in mind control or severe manipulation as it relates to the victim's personal view of God.  To be honest, none of the phrases I can come up with can really give an adequate description … Continue reading Bits and pieces on my mind about God

Inspirational Saints Who Suffered Abuse

Ever since I was a little girl and learned how much some of the saints have suffered through the centuries they have been an inspiration.  Martyrs of the Catholic Church have some of the most fascinating stories to tell.  Regardless of how I felt as a child, in spite of my pain which had no … Continue reading Inspirational Saints Who Suffered Abuse

A few things I have learned

Any idea of who I thought I was completely shattered upon the acceptance of a single memory.  For years, my husband and I wondered if I was sexually abused as a child.  We talked about what I always remembered and discussed certain bedroom behaviors of mine.  As far as I knew I lived a completely uneventful and … Continue reading A few things I have learned

A Memory for Monday: a vision and a message

Today I will go into a surreal type of memory.   Josie, one of my alter personalities, went through some sort of psychic training or development. She is the one who saw angels, ghosts, and even demons.   Psychic development is a part of monarch programming. I believe whatever part of the brain where Josie … Continue reading A Memory for Monday: a vision and a message

A Memory for Monday

Please use caution when reading my post if you are dealing with ptsd or did since reading any posts about my memories may be triggering. Today I mention angels, demon, switching personalities, catholicism *** One beautiful evening, when I was probably 19 years old, I found myself in the church parking lot with no memory … Continue reading A Memory for Monday

The broken heart in pieces

In a sense, the division of my personality into separate parts is more like the broken pieces of my heart. Left to heal on their own, there has been no shortage of scar tissue. This scar tissue, so to speak, became more like walls that separated each part. Each broken piece of my heart became … Continue reading The broken heart in pieces