Bits and pieces on my mind about God

After my last memory post, my husband (who does all the research on my situation) discovered one of the techniques used in mind control or severe manipulation as it relates to the victim's personal view of God.  To be honest, none of the phrases I can come up with can really give an adequate description … Continue reading Bits and pieces on my mind about God

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A Memory for Monday

The memory I am going to share today is strange.  As always, if you have ptsd or did be careful of what you read.  Anything can be triggering!  This one involves partial memory of a ritual and punishment afterwards. This is a memory I recovered about a year and a half ago.  How do I … Continue reading A Memory for Monday

A few things I have learned

Any idea of who I thought I was completely shattered upon the acceptance of a single memory.  For years, my husband and I wondered if I was sexually abused as a child.  We talked about what I always remembered and discussed certain bedroom behaviors of mine.  As far as I knew I lived a completely uneventful and … Continue reading A few things I have learned

A Memory for Monday: a vision and a message

Today I will go into a surreal type of memory.   Josie, one of my alter personalities, went through some sort of psychic training or development. She is the one who saw angels, ghosts, and even demons.   Psychic development is a part of monarch programming. I believe whatever part of the brain where Josie … Continue reading A Memory for Monday: a vision and a message

Caught in the Middle Between Multiple Personalities (DID) and Marriage

Internal conflicts... that which hits the at the heart of who my alters are and why they exist; the very reason from what I can tell so far, that one alter split into two and so on.  My husband is an empath and picks up on the deepest parts of my emotions.  He has picked … Continue reading Caught in the Middle Between Multiple Personalities (DID) and Marriage

A Memory for Monday

Please use caution when reading my post if you are dealing with ptsd or did since reading any posts about my memories may be triggering. Today I mention angels, demon, switching personalities, catholicism *** One beautiful evening, when I was probably 19 years old, I found myself in the church parking lot with no memory … Continue reading A Memory for Monday

If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?

Here is more of the story.  I don't feel safe talking about this to anybody I know, other than my husband, and that is why I am anonymously online disclosing whatever it is that I can figure out.  There is a need to "report" - a mechanism that I destroyed within me although the need … Continue reading If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?

Methodical Destruction

Hypnosis at home, do I really get hypnotized?  I am not sure if I can be truly hypnotized because of how my programming was set up. I was set up to go into a trance when ever the trigger was used.  I know in general of one trigger, although I am unable to remember the … Continue reading Methodical Destruction

The broken heart in pieces

In a sense, the division of my personality into separate parts is more like the broken pieces of my heart. Left to heal on their own, there has been no shortage of scar tissue. This scar tissue, so to speak, became more like walls that separated each part. Each broken piece of my heart became … Continue reading The broken heart in pieces

Hello, my name is Josie?

Hello, my name is Josie.  🙂  (One of the alters)  Here I thought I had so much to say!  Anyway, I had a dream last night.  I was looking at a photo album with baby pictures of myself.  There was a picture of a very cute baby girl.  Now that we have access to more … Continue reading Hello, my name is Josie?