Still Quiet

About nine years ago already was my first flashback.  It only consisted of two hands and arms of a boy wrestling with me to hold me down.  This flashback was triggered by my husband being affectionate with me.   I could not see anything other than two hands and forearms.  My eyes were open, but … Continue reading Still Quiet

Advertisements

Relaxation and Imagery

I am back with a vengeance after spending the last two seasons pursuing programming, personalities, and memories.    Van Helsing and I use imagery modeled by hypnosis to face my interior world.  I am going to explain how we work this based on our experience together. There are three phases to relaxation.  I start out … Continue reading Relaxation and Imagery

Bits and pieces on my mind about God

After my last memory post, my husband (who does all the research on my situation) discovered one of the techniques used in mind control or severe manipulation as it relates to the victim's personal view of God.  To be honest, none of the phrases I can come up with can really give an adequate description … Continue reading Bits and pieces on my mind about God

Caught in the Middle Between Multiple Personalities (DID) and Marriage

Internal conflicts... that which hits the at the heart of who my alters are and why they exist; the very reason from what I can tell so far, that one alter split into two and so on.  My husband is an empath and picks up on the deepest parts of my emotions.  He has picked … Continue reading Caught in the Middle Between Multiple Personalities (DID) and Marriage

Dorothy is home

I always liked "The Wizard of Oz" with Judy Garland. And so it was as a with me as well.  I remember my uncle commenting that I must have had some very strange dreams the night before.  The truth was, I didn't remember a thing.  I had no dreams, no nightmares, no idea whatsoever that … Continue reading Dorothy is home

A Memory for Monday…

Please use caution when reading my post if you are dealing with ptsd or did since reading any posts about my memories may be triggering. Today I mention: psychic, bath, knife *** *** After a session of being abused I was in the basement having an ice bath.  I absolutely hate cold water, I hate … Continue reading A Memory for Monday…

A Memory for Monday

Please use caution when reading my post if you are dealing with ptsd or did since reading any posts about my memories may be triggering. Today I mention angels, demon, switching personalities, catholicism *** One beautiful evening, when I was probably 19 years old, I found myself in the church parking lot with no memory … Continue reading A Memory for Monday

If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?

Here is more of the story.  I don't feel safe talking about this to anybody I know, other than my husband, and that is why I am anonymously online disclosing whatever it is that I can figure out.  There is a need to "report" - a mechanism that I destroyed within me although the need … Continue reading If “A” is true, then isn’t “B” true?

Methodical Destruction

Hypnosis at home, do I really get hypnotized?  I am not sure if I can be truly hypnotized because of how my programming was set up. I was set up to go into a trance when ever the trigger was used.  I know in general of one trigger, although I am unable to remember the … Continue reading Methodical Destruction