Still Quiet

About nine years ago already was my first flashback.  It only consisted of two hands and arms of a boy wrestling with me to hold me down.  This flashback was triggered by my husband being affectionate with me.   I could not see anything other than two hands and forearms.  My eyes were open, but … Continue reading Still Quiet

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Dorothy is home

I always liked "The Wizard of Oz" with Judy Garland. And so it was as a with me as well.  I remember my uncle commenting that I must have had some very strange dreams the night before.  The truth was, I didn't remember a thing.  I had no dreams, no nightmares, no idea whatsoever that … Continue reading Dorothy is home

Methodical Destruction

Hypnosis at home, do I really get hypnotized?  I am not sure if I can be truly hypnotized because of how my programming was set up. I was set up to go into a trance when ever the trigger was used.  I know in general of one trigger, although I am unable to remember the … Continue reading Methodical Destruction

The broken heart in pieces

In a sense, the division of my personality into separate parts is more like the broken pieces of my heart. Left to heal on their own, there has been no shortage of scar tissue. This scar tissue, so to speak, became more like walls that separated each part. Each broken piece of my heart became … Continue reading The broken heart in pieces

Seeking my interior castle through hypnosis

So, finally, like Alice before falling into wonderland, I saw the rabbit hole and dove in.  Falling down a rabbit hole is not always quick.  You move as fast or as slow as your mind allows.  My husband researched hypnosis and we gave it a shot.  I have a Ton of trust in my husband! … Continue reading Seeking my interior castle through hypnosis

Back to the beginning…

Discovering something severe did occur in my childhood was not easy to accept - even though I had enough reason to accept it.  Anything short of the truth simply would not be enough.  I had to know what really happened and if I was barking up the wrong tree.  I needed validation.  Walking this path … Continue reading Back to the beginning…

3 Memories, Ch. 2

Along with the memories which made some sense to me that I could actually place within some kind of sense of my own reality were other memories that made no sense and would not fit easily within the chronology of my life.  These memories fell into two categories:  Science or Mind Control, Rituals and Ritual … Continue reading 3 Memories, Ch. 2

I’m Still Swimming…

At this point in the beginning of my awakening, I had no real validation except for my mom telling me it was possible somebody had abused me and the single yet extremely short flashback containing nearly no information.  My mom has a twin sister - I will just refer to her as my aunt, and … Continue reading I’m Still Swimming…

Chapter 1, Continued…

It is good to have the internet again!  After over two months away - I am finally able to continue what I began.  The date I signed up with WordPress was September 19 which was the feast of Our Lady of La Salette.  Here are a couple sites which give information on Our Lady of … Continue reading Chapter 1, Continued…

Chapter 1 Growing Up Me

For as long as I can remember, I have felt different.  I have been socially impaired and very uncomfortable with my body.  This is not to say that I never had any friends, I did, but couldn't connect with others the same way other people do.  As different as I felt from others, they could … Continue reading Chapter 1 Growing Up Me