I am back with a vengeance after spending the last two seasons pursuing programming, personalities, and memories.
Van Helsing and I use imagery modeled by hypnosis to face my interior world. I am going to explain how we work this based on our experience together.
There are three phases to relaxation. I start out laying down on our living room couch and make myself as comfortable as possible.
- Focused eye movement – similar to EMDR. I focus on a point either stationary or moving while beginning to relax my body and mind.
- Eyes close and imagine a relaxing path to walk. This step helps me to use my imagination to visualize a relaxing place. It is an introduction into your inner world.
- Walk down the stairs. This I had a Lot of trouble understanding for a LONG time! Where I live everything is very flat and the idea that there would be stairs outside was just weird. It made no sense. Finally I saw an example of this at a forest preserve. As you walk down the stairs you are walking deeper into your mind or subconscious. I added a link that shows an example of what I mean: http://imgur.com/gallery/JeItC
- Once you reach the bottom of the stairs, you reach a river. There is a boat on the river bank. You lay down in the boat and let the boat carry you until the boat stops near the castle.
Okay, so that is really four steps. Reaching the castle is where the work begins. It took my husband and I a LONG time. Growing up with other people taking control of your life and mind makes it extremely difficult to relax and become comfortable enough to put your mind into the heart and hands of somebody you trust. I trust my husband – a big part of that is knowing that he does not ignore his personal relationship with God and goes to church. Because of this, I know that he is looking to the same source for guidance towards this path of healing. He and I have the same moral values. I can talk to him when he starts to go down the wrong path, and he listens to me AND values my opinion! I am so lucky. So – trusting the person working with me makes the rest of this a little easier. It is rough enough trying to relax and face any of this while putting my brain in such a vulnerable position. If he did not have integrity in his character, it would be very tempting for him to incorporate selfish agendas. If anything, it has been tougher on him.
One of the best and unexpected lessons learned from all if this is that no matter what was done to me –
I HAD MORE CONTROL OVER MY MIND THAN I EVER KNEW!
I DO HAVE CONTROL OVER MY BRAIN
EVEN IF IT MEANS FACING THE SCARIEST MONSTERS IN MY BRAIN
TAKING BACK CONTROL IS WORTH IT