A Memory for Monday

As always, use caution if reading my memory posts…

This one mentions pain training

The memory I would like to share with you today is a short one about pain.  I was lying down in a dark room.  My uncle was there, and so was a woman with white hair known as “the witch.”  They put a cylinder of I think wood and leather in my mouth to bite down on it.  This think was large enough so I couldn’t open my mouth much further.  After this thing was put in my mouth, I experienced tremendous pain on my left side.  The only problem with this memory is that I did not at the time look down to see what was causing the pain.  It was like I couldn’t move and only had limited head movement.

I utterly hated having that thing in my mouth.  The intense urge to bite down and clench my jaw during this experience seemed to be what I focused on.  The pain was intense, but I was being trained to experience pain without letting it weaken me mentally.  This was their pain training.  It would seem to be a kind of interrogation resistance training they had put me through.  This alter of mine who handles all of the pain is able to accept that she has to face this pain and can not avoid it.  It just seems kind of funny to me, although also a testimony of the veracity of the memory, that the one thing which sticks out the most was how much I hated having that thing in my mouth to bite down on!  Even an alter created for handling pain does not like pain – pain is still pain – however, she kinda felt like this bite they used on her was distracting from her ability to process and deal with the pain in the way she was used to.

There ya go!  It was a short memory, I am curious to learn more about what my alters were put through.



    • Yeah, I wish my others didn’t have to suffer so much. I wish I could take the pain now for them all, but at the same time appreciate them and the fact that my brain dealt with things this way. The memory was not as intense as the experience.

      Liked by 1 person

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