“Blue on Black” Personal Interpretation

      “Blue on Black” by Kenny Wayne Shepherd came out in the 1990’s.The song has many meanings.  It was written in such a way that just about anyone could find a personal connection to the song.  Every time I heard it on the radio or in a bar the passionate blues guitar would... Continue Reading →

Hope Is On Pause

What's wrong with me? I know what's wrong with me.  I know what's wrong, it's me.  Last night my husband was very mad.  He was starving and dinner was late and the house was a mess.  Our messy house has been a constant issue.  So, he was mad and yelling at me.  The thing about... Continue Reading →

A Mother Daughter Struggle

It's the programming again... I can feel it move me against my own wishes. The mother knows, the mother wants me to keep quiet. Some want me to keep quiet for altruistic reasons. But, I want to get LOUD! I want to scream out everything I remembered! Maybe it will explain why I am so... Continue Reading →

Beginning to Speak Up

There is a storm of chaos swirling and swarming.  There is an eye of the storm where things are calm.  So, please God, help me express my story here in a way that isn't simply negative. Over ten years ago, when I began questioning things about my childhood seriously, I started asking around. I asked... Continue Reading →

Music That Relates

It used to be that I would listen to music on the radio, having no care for the lyrics, just enjoying the emotional communication. These days, the lyrics mean so much to me! Music has really helped me through the turmoil of PTSD and painful memories. Here are ten of my favorites:   P!nk -... Continue Reading →

Tasting the Happiness

The photo above was taken by Frankie Cordoba on Unsplash.com Today was going to be my second appointment with a therapist, but she was sick :-(. Oh well. We can still look at the bright side, right? That was a $25 co-pay that we don't have to pay now! What would a child do with... Continue Reading →

Fortune Cookie Message

That is an actual picture of the message inside of a fortune cookie I opened a few months ago. I laughed when I read it.  Like, yeah right - me, successful in an entertainment career? And then it hit me - kinda like when you walk into a wall that is right in front of... Continue Reading →

Teenage Courage

How does someone wake up from their life of denial and realize the truth?  How is it that one teenager can, even without understanding the severity of their conditioning, seize the opportunity to free themselves from the seemingly intangible grasp of their abusers while another teenager just can not see the truth even while living... Continue Reading →

“I” vs. “We”

It has been a while since I have written, so this is gonna be off the cuff - free style. Boy oh boy, there is constant criticism one way or another. Thought heard from within:  "Don't say 'I'. I write 'I' way too much and nobody wants to hear you talk about yourself all the... Continue Reading →

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